‘Nutcrackers’ Review: Ben Stiller Gets Saddled With a Farm and Four Rowdy Kids in Easy-Target Heart-Tugger (2024)

No doubt, the Janson brothers — Homer, Ulysses, Atlas and Arlo — are lovely, well-behaved kids in real life. (Surely, no sanity-respecting director would cast them in a movie if that weren’t the case.) Few would say the same about the undisciplined orphans these four boys play in director David Gordon Green’s odd-choice Toronto Film Festival opener, “Nutcrackers”: a near-feral wolfpack who depend on their uptight uncle, Michael Maxwell (Ben Stiller), to spare them the indignity of an orphanage after their parents die in a car accident.

A big-city, fancy-shoes sort of guy, Michael shows up at his late sister’s farmhouse driving a yellow Porsche and promptly steps in a fresh pile of dung. Christmas is right around the corner, and Michael has committed a few days to sorting out the estate — a task that includes trying to get the Kicklighter boys adopted. Then it’s back to Chicago, where a career-defining real estate deal is about to close.

“When I wake up tomorrow, are you still gonna be here?” asks 12-year-old Justice (Homer Janson, who seems ready for an acting career). Whereas his disheveled siblings, Junior (Ulysses Janson) and twins Samuel (Atlas Janson) and Simon (Arlo Janson), have been made to look like long-haired heathens, Homer has soulful brown eyes, dark lashes and obvious lost-puppy appeal. The kid could be Jacob Elordi’s younger brother, though co-starring with his real brothers (all raised by one of Green’s longtime friends) makes their shenanigans that much more convincing.

“I guess what Mom said about you is true,” Justice says, challenging his uncle. “She said you’re incapable of love.” If you believe that to be true, or simply can’t wait to see Stiller’s character prove Justice wrong, then “Nutcrackers” should make for a delightful holiday surprise. More cynical viewers will likely see the innocuous family movie as something else: a nostalgic “one for me” project from Green, who takes a break from ruining classic horror franchises (“Halloween” and “The Exorcist”) to honor a genre he grew up on — what Green describes as “lost treasures like ‘Six Pack’ and ‘Kidco.’”

What happened to such films, in which unruly adolescents ran wild, swearing and otherwise disrespecting authority? Steven Spielberg happened, for starters. Amblin productions like “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial” and “The Goonies” served up exhilarating adventures for young audiences, while quietly conditioning them in how to comport themselves. Soon enough, such portrayals had replaced the rule-bending behavior of “Paper Moon” and “The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane.”

Shooting on 35mm film, Green clearly wants to reconnect with a time when movies let kids go rogue, though the result lands closer to Cameron Crowe’s sappy crowd-pleaser “We Bought a Zoo” than to “The Bad News Bears.” After spending his first night at the Kicklighter home, Michael awakens to find the brothers mud-dogging in his Porsche. How does such a guy, who seems more concerned about his car than his sister’s children, grow up fast enough to find a solution? Green and screenwriter Leland Douglas accelerate Michael’s transformation by casting Linda Cardellini as the family services worker helping to locate a foster family.

“Some people can’t have children. Their bodies won’t let them,” she tells Michael, reminding him that others would be grateful to inherit the same headache. During his time at his sister’s, Michael proactively tries to pawn the kids off on others. There’s Aloysius Wilmington (Toby Huss), a wealthy local who has everything … except kids of his own, and Rose (Edi Patterson), who’s worked out a scheme whereby each of her fosters nets her $800 a month in government support. She wouldn’t mind adding four more boys to her roster.

Neither of these solutions feels right, though “Nutcrackers” never makes the case that Michael would be a better option. He’s not only selfish but completely inexperienced, both with parenting and life on the farm — and the implication is that whoever adopts the Kicklighter kids will be responsible for all their animals as well. That includes two pigs, one guinea pig, several goats, a dog (or several) and birds of all kinds, including a flock of chickens that Michael is not at all comfortable with killing and cooking for dinner.

The laughs won’t catch anyone by surprise, as Michael slips in the mud here or falls into the pond there. Though the boys are homeschooled, the only lesson he gives them is a predictably awkward one in sex ed. If Michael does wind up adopting the boys, he’ll need to enroll them in school, figure out the farm, find an entirely new job and teach them some manners — not impossible, but potentially a lot more interesting than the few days it takes to thaw his Scrooge-y heart.

Still wondering what the film’s irreverent-sounding title refers to? That would be the Christmas show the boys had been preparing with their mom, a well-liked local dance instructor. Undaunted by other distractions, Michael decides to see through the Kicklighters’ new-and-improved production of “The Nutcracker,” which Green treats as his big finale. What the movie needs isn’t a shaggy Christmas pageant, but the kind of catharsis one might expect when four of its characters lost their mom and the fifth ought to be mourning his sister.

Looking back on Green’s best films — early indies like “George Washington” and “All the Real Girls” — it’s clear he gets loss. Here, he chose to focus on what a family gains by coming together.