If you don’t think chicken tenders are — for better or worse — an integral part of the human condition, you are sorely mistaken. Not only were they the catalyst for a fight between a mom and her daughters’ friend, but they have also initiated massive amounts of camaraderie on the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA?)” subreddit.
The mom in question turned to Reddit after a recent outing with her husband, her five daughters — Avery, 13, Bella, 7, Cassie, 6, Daria, 4, and Emily, 18 months — and their 6-year-old friend Jenny.
About Jenny
This mom who originally posted (the “OP”) felt it was necessary to share that Jenny has Autism Spectrum Disorder. Redditors disagreed with the necessity of that detail, but we’ll get there. She said Jenny comes over to play regularly and has been included in family outings, “ranging from the beach to bowling to amusem*nt parks.”
“Jenny’s mom has done the same for my girls, only she takes them with her one at a time as she’s also autistic and not used to caring for multiple children since Jenny’s an only child,” OP said.
This weekend, OP had Jenny over for a sleepover. They all went out for lunch, and Jenny and Daria (the 4-year-old) both got chicken tenders and fries. And so it begins.
The Chicken Conundrum
OP saw that her daughter finished her chicken before her fries and Jenny ate all but one of her chicken tender before moving on to her fries. During the meal, the oldest daughter brought all the girls except the youngest to the bathroom. While they were gone, OP noticed that Jenny hadn’t eaten the last tender and assumed (you know what happens when you do that!) she didn’t want it. So she gave it to 1-year-old Emily, who ate about half before everyone returned.
“[Jenny came back and] said she was ‘saving it for last’ and looked like she was about to have a meltdown (which I still have yet to deal with in public),” OP said, “so I took the little piece of chicken Emily didn’t eat and gave it back to her, but she refused to eat it because it had ‘baby germs’ on it.'”
When Jenny’s mom came to pick her up, Jenny told her what happened. Her mom called OP “inconsiderate” and that she should’ve waited and asked before assuming.
“[She] told me that she often saves certain foods for last too (must be an autistic thing).”
OP and her husband talked about the situation and he agrees that Jenny’s mom was right about asking, but OP thinks it was an overreaction. And so he suggested she take this to Reddit for an “unbiased opinion.”
“So here I am,” she said, turning it over to the internet to weigh in.
Reddit’s Reaction
More than 17 thousand (seventeen! thousand!) Redditors think this mom is absolutely in the wrong. “Not only did you give someone’s food away, but you also attribute her saving food to her autism,” said the top comment. “As someone not on the spectrum, I save bites of food for last because they look the best and I save the best bite for last. Do better.”
“So do I,” another said. “I actually DISSECT food, like a stoned toddler, to ensure I can eat bits in order from least to most appetizing.”
And then they descended into a conversation about how they — despite not being on the spectrum — eat foods in a specific way. One person will open their cheeseburger, find the pickle, and then eat around it so they can save that bite for last. Another said they eat all the “edges” of foods first: “Sandwiches, quiche, pie, cake … anything that has noticeable ‘sides.'” Another could not get over people who bite their way straight through a cinnamon bun instead of eating it as a spiral. “Save the ‘filet’ of the cinnamon roll for last!!” someone agreed.
AITA for giving away my daughter’s friend’s last chicken tender?
by inAmItheAsshole
“MY PEOPLE MY PEOPLE,” one Redditor said as everyone shared their eating practices.
Folks then focused on the fact that OP gave Jenny half a chicken tender that had been eaten by a toddler who was not related to her. “Who does that?” they asked.
“I’ve seen the way babies gnaw and suck on things. Guaranteed there is slobber all over that bit of chicken.”
“Are you normally this clueless,” someone asked, “or did you wake up that day ready to steal from an autistic girl?”
Ultimately, OP just needed to change her tune — immediately.
“I don’t understand why adults can’t just admit to a child that they messed up and apologize, and when their parent calls them out they apologize to them as well. OP messed up and made a mistake, just apologize and promise to do better in the future. Why do people need to double down on making a mistake?”
Don’t assume she’s done, don’t assume this is because she has autism, and don’t double down. Plain and simple.
